TOPSoccer Story

“He Opened the Door of Friendship”            

We meet many people throughout our lives. It is just a part of life and we don’t really even think about it as it is happening.  Some of the people we meet develop into relationships and some do not.  For someone with autism, meeting new people can be a very scary and overwhelming situation. Our son was diagnosed with autism when he was 4 years old.  Nearly two years have passed and we have learned so much about autism and the truly special people who have this developmental disorder.  Not all autistics are geniuses as many people might think from what is seen in the movies.  Very few are mentally retarded.  People with autism typically are gifted in one way or another that could be music, sports, history facts, math etc.  The most common thread among these children and adults who have autism is their lack of social interaction with other people.  The belief is that people who have autism have no interest in developing relationships with people.  I have found over the time learning about this disorder, that this is not true at all.  In fact, they really want to fit in and want to be understood.  This is the story of our son, Jared, and the day he met a friend and finally fit in.

Jared was always an athletic little boy.  He enjoyed watching and playing sports beginning when he was only one year old and his love for all sports has grown over the years.  When I heard of the TOPSoccer program offered here in Kingsport, I knew it would be perfect for him.  He would be able to be on a team and do the running and kicking without the competitive pressure.  From the first day we went to the field, he loved it.  Jared never spoke to the other kids but ran up and down the field making goal after goal.  He enjoyed it and never missed a “game”.  Even the rain wouldn’t stop Jared from getting out there and making some goals.  We were very proud.

A couple of weeks ago, we went to one of his games and there were other kids from the team already practicing.  I was running up and down the field with Jared cheering him on.  I had run ahead as something had caught Jared’s eye and he stopped dead in his tracks. As I turned around, I heard a very familiar little voice say just one special word. “Hello.”  This word opened the door that our family had been waiting to open for many years.  As I looked, I noticed Jared was talking to the back of another player.  The boy was older and busy practicing his own soccer skills.  But it was that day that Jared had decided to make a friend.  He wasn't going to give up.  I stood back and watched my little boy make attempt after attempt of talking to his teammate.  Up until that point, I had never witnessed Jared make any attempt to speak to another child other than his brother.  So I stood back, watched and listened to my son.  “Hello.”  “Hello.”  “Hello.”  He repeated this one word over and over to the other boy’s back.  The boy eventually turned to look and see who was talking to him and said, “Hello.”  It was magical.  My little boy grinned and pointed to himself and said, “Jared.”  He was trying to introduce himself.  He than pointed to the other boy and said, “What’s this?”  I coached him through the proper way to ask and he repeated, “What’s your name?”  The boy responded to Jared in one word, “Mike.”

The smile on my son’s face would have lit up the darkest room and warmed any heart around.  The tears flooded to my eyes as I looked over to my husband who was watching from the goal.  At that moment, the world seemed to stop and we looked at each other knowing that the smallest steps are actually monumental for our son.  Jared followed Mike around the rest of the evening talking about a lot of things that didn’t make much sense to us or Mike but, Jared was excited and you could see it all over his face. Mike was never bothered by it either.  He was very patient and encouraging toward Jared.  After that, Jared would talk about “Go to soccer.”  And “Go to Mike.”  At the next game, Jared remembered Mike and every time Jared made a goal, he would look to Mike for approval and hugged Mike many times.  On our way to our parked cars that sunny Saturday after a game, Jared and Mike were walking side-by-side, Mike looked at me and said, “Am I his hero?”  I smiled and said, “He thinks your pretty great.”  Later when I thought about what Mike had asked me, I realized Mike is a hero.  He was the boy who was very patient and opened the door of friendship for Jared and invited him in. I will remember that day for the rest of my life.

Written by Jared's mother

May 2006, Kingsport, TN